The Twitter Method of Resume Writing

So the CommonApp is changing in a big way for this upcoming app season.
And this next class of applicants? You are the guinea pigs.

You’ve lost essay of choice, but, worse, you’ve lost the “Upload a Resume” option.

While you may be able to sneak it in somehow (send it by snail-mail to the school, upload it in the “additional info” session), more likely you will have to conform to CommonApps standards.

So basically, here’s how it’s going to work.

You get 10 spaces for activities. You get 1 line to describe each activity and list your accomplishments.

Which… quite frankly… sucks.

So let’s delve into this.

10 slots for activities is… honestly not that bad.

Some of us have more than 10. But lets be honest, how many of you have more than 10 activities that you are incredibly passionate about and have a ton of involvement in? I think you can narrow down that list to 10 if you needed to.

And if you cant? You should probably devote a little more time to the activities that are important to you.

But for those who really need to make deep cuts:
Take off anything that is “one time” that isn’t incredibly impressive. Take off any club in HS that you only did for a short amount of time. Cut out anything that’s redundant (multiple lessons, anything that’s implied, etc). Cut anything that is more a “hobby” than a legitimate extracurricular (creative writing, exercising, blogging, etc.)

Also, you do not need to have 10 slots filled. You’re better off with 3 or 4 quality activities than 10 sub-par ones.

So the easy part is done. Now how are you supposed to put 4 years of commitment into one line of text?

What I call the “Twitter Method.”

We are the social media generation, and if anyone can write a mind-blowing description in 140 characters or less… it’s us.

So here’s how to tackle those descriptions.

All officer positions first (with years if they’re multiple, w/o if they’re once).

Then hrs/week (if there isn’t already a slot for it on the app). If it’s a summer program just write “Summer.”

Then, if you can, describe what you do in the club. Short and sweet. Hit the big points.

Awards are last.

 If the club needs to be explained, try to explain it in the title. It will save you space in your description, and make everything easier.
Ex: ACTIVITY: “Association of Creative Thespians” (Drama Club)
Ex: ACTIVITY: “Table Top Troupe” (Board Game Club)

I can’t remember if there is a slot for how many years you participated (I think there is). If there is not, just put it first (ex: 9-12, or 10-12), before your officer positions.

I don’t know how many characters you get, but there will be a limit. So try to be as concise as you can.

Make sure you write out everything before you try to enter it into the CommonApp. First of all, you’ll be able to make sure everything you’re writing looks good and makes sense.
Secondly, you want to make sure your phrasing sounds nice and is grammatically correct.

Third, in case you find out there is less space than you thought, you can play around with everything to make the best descriptions you can.

The resume is going to be a rough bet this year, so make sure you’re polished and ready to go.

Respecting our Google-y Overlords

So the internet is a scary place, is it not?

It’s full of information and articles.
It has art and advice and entertainment.
But it’s also full of some pretty personal stuff.

One of the best pieces of advice I got when I was applying to college came from my totally awesome AP Stats teacher. He was really dry-humored, sarcastic and a little bit mean, which is basically a formula for being my favorite teacher.
This was a class with an interesting mix of, 1. People who had never taken an AP class before and were in way over their heads. 2. People who didn’t want to take AP Calc but still cared. And 3. People who were taking it as an elective, who were really good at the class but didn’t care at all.

He took a day off from teaching us AP Stat to tell us to go home and Google ourselves.

So my high school had this absolutely disgusting tradition called “Road Rally” which has (allegedly) been discontinued. It was only done by a tiny subset of the senior class, but basically it was a XXX rated scavenger hunt.
The school tried (and failed) every year to stop it from happening.

Because what happened?
Every year, without fail, a video or picture would get leaked. Meaning everyone would see it. And let’s just say that, considering nobody is 18 yet in October of senior year with NY cutoffs being in December, the nature of these videos could have people placed in jail.

Now this in an incredibly extreme case. An incredibly extreme case.

But that’s not to say that you may not have things up on the internet that you would rather the world not see. Make sure to change your Facebook settings so you can’t be Googled. Same for things like Pinterest, Etsy, and YouTube.

Set your twitter on private, and delete any photos you’d rather an adcom not see from your Instagram.

Make sure your Tumblr can’t be traced to you if it has personal things. Especially if it has admissions things (if an adcom Googles you, finds your admissions blog, and see’s that you classify their school as a “safety” what do you think will happen?)

I talk about applying to grad school from time to time on here, but I never mention schools by name. There’s a reason for that.

So when I was in high school, if you Googled my name, a few things came up.

My facebook (which was open because it was very clean and polished… it still sort of is). An article written about a play I was in. An article about national merit written by my school (where they listed everyone who was commended, semifinalist, and finalist). The website for my drama club. My forensics ranking. And that’s about it.

Now if you Google me?
Basically the same thing. My profile on the prospect. This website. My contributions to relay for life this year. Some clubs I’m in at College. But mostly the woman in Florida who shares my name.

I still come off as likable, fairly intelligent, and most importantly, normal.

Be careful what can be traced back to you. Be careful of your online presence.

Because you want an adcom to Google you and go “Oh cool here’s an article about that thing they wrote and essay on “ or “Oh wow here’s a picture of them from prom on their school’s website, they’re really really ridiculously good-looking”

They do not want to see a picture of you smoking a bong and flipping off the camera.

Be mindful that things like Google exist in our world. Be careful everyone. See what comes up.

FOUR-eign languages

(Excuse the terrible pun. I’m proud of it. It’s late at night)

So when it comes to schedules, there are a few “gold standard” classes you want to hit.

Among them is four years of a single foreign language.

I’ve talked about this before, but I’ll rehash some of the benefits.

Fourth year is indicative of a rigorous and complete schedule

Four years shows commitment to “world citizenship”

Many colleges will waive a language requirement for those who have taken the fourth year of a language.

So, in general, I will always tell you to take the fourth year of a language.

But, obviously, there is never a one-size-fits-all answer in college admissions.

So here are some of the reasons you might not take the fourth year of your language, and why they’re okay. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but these are the most common reasons.

Your School Doesn’t Offer It

Plain and simple. Some schools only have 2 or 3 years of a language. Maybe your school cut the program for funding. Maybe you moved and your new school doesn’t teach your language. No worries. Colleges do not expect you to take classes that don’t exist. So take up to the highest level you can, and that will look great.

Your School Only Offers a Level You Can’t Handle

This is another pretty common one. Some schools only offer AP, or an incredibly rigorous class for seniors.  And for many of us who aren’t as talented in languages, this could be a practice in self-inflicted torture. If you can’t handle the class, don’t take it. You’re better off kicking butt in your other classes than having a “D” senior year.

You are dropping it to take an extra, very rigorous, elective

This one is a little less clear cut. But in this case, you have to know yourself and know your passions. In this case I would strongly advise against it (I know I recently spoke to someone who wanted to drop Spanish 3 in favor of Latin, and convinced him otherwise), but if you can’t pass up the opportunity, don’t. Do what makes you happy.

You are dropping it to take an elective you are passionate about

Another one that’s less clear-cut. But if you cannot, for the life of you, imagine getting through the day without taking studio art, you have to do what’s best for you. Which might be not taking a language.

There is a scheduling error and you can’t fit it in

This one actually happened to me my senior year. I was signed up to take Dual-Enrollment Spanish, but there was no possible way to fit it in with my other electives. So I was given a choice, AP (which there was no way I could handle, I have no talent at languages) or regular. I signed up for regular (which was actually an awesome and really fun class). But I made sure that my guidance counselor noted it on my application that I wasn’t taking the more difficult class because of a scheduling error. If you tried and failed to get into the class, make sure it’s on your app.

I would say that the only wrong reason to drop your language is “I hate languages.”

Sorry, you’re in high school; you’re going to have to take things you don’t like.


So while I strongly advise that you take four years of a single foreign language, I know that it’s not going to work for everyone. So take some initiative, and pick the path that’s best for you.

How to deal with Affirmative Action

So Fisher v. Texas got a ruling… Sort of.

Wait, What’s Fisher v. University of Texas?

Fisher v. Texas is a court case about everyone’s favorite hot-button issue, Affirmative Action.

Basically, an applicant was rejected from the University of Texas at Austin. She was on the low-end of the middle 50% SAT wise, and was in the top 15% of her class (the top 10% of students are automatically admitted, so she was applying for one of the 20% of spots in the incoming class that remained).

She sued the school, saying that she was being discriminated against for being white.

If I were advising her, with her package, I would have told her that The University of Texas was a high match and that she was being ridiculous.

But nobody had the heart to tell her this, so the case went all the way to the Supreme Court.

The ruling of the court was basically a non-ruling. It did basically nothing about using race as an admissions criteria, neither condoning nor condemning the practice.

But, as it is, race is still a totally valid criteria for holistic college admissions.

And you know what? It should be.

I say this as a White Jewish girl from the North East. Which isn’t quite being Asian on the “Holy crap, way too many of us apply to college and it’s way harder for us to get in,” scale, but is pretty high up there.

So where I’m from there is a pretty common argument against using race… Basically, “Ugh they’re taking spots away from more qualified students”

Or you’ll hear someone whine “Ugh that kid took my spot!”

Well guess what? You don’t have a spot.

Nobody has a spot.
The admissions committees are allowed to accept students on whatever criteria they prefer.  They can dole out “spots” as they choose. And having a diverse group of people makes the campus more interesting.

You might think oh but my SAT scores are so much higher! I’m so much more qualified!

Well what makes you qualified?

The whole point of holistic admissions is that a variety of factors are taken into account. Your personality. Your life story. Your background. Your Passions. And yes, this can include your race.

We could have numerical admissions. Where it is entirely about your SAT/ACT score. But that could make colleges so homogenous. And that takes away from what makes college so interesting.

You want a variety of people from a variety of backgrounds.

I will be the first to say that if I did not have the opportunities I was given (like an amazing public school with an incredible curriculum, supportive parents, a crap load of tutors and extra help from teachers who cared) I wouldn’t have been as academically successful as I was in High School.

Affirmative Action has the good intentions to give those who succeeded without advantages the opportunities to thrive. To go to a great school. To get that education. Even if on paper they’re not as numerically qualified, things like a unique background or an incredible work ethic trump that.


And you are now thinking, “But I know someone who had all of the same opportunities as me who got into a school they shouldn’t have because they were (insert URM here).”

Well that stinks. But they still weren’t taking “your spot.”

Because you don’t have a spot.

I know that it sucks that some people have what you perceive to be an “unfair” edge. Or some people “abuse” the system.

Maybe affirmative action should be adjusted to be more economically based, instead of racially based. Or geographically based.

But universities should be able to accept students on whatever standards they deem important. Yes, even public universities.

Because I don’t know about you, but I really don’t want politicians deciding who gets into my school.

So yes, sometimes affirmative action sucks. But sometimes it does great things for people who worked hard. And yes, affirmative action and the use of race in admissions needs to be adjusted for the realities of today.

But stop complaining about it because you think it’s hurting your chances somewhere. And please don’t sue a school over it.

What “Monsters University” teaches us about college.

A College-Admissions fanatic and a TA/RA walk into Monsters University… and enjoy it a lot more than any of the little kids in the theatre.

Sounds like a joke, but was actually my experience in seeing the movie.

While my boyfriend and I had some initial reactions to the movie (Him: RAs did not play a big enough role in their lives, and Me: I really feel the take-home message was that if your grades suck your Greek organization will kick you out) it does have a lot of really great life-lessons about college.

(Minor spoilers ahead)

First of all, Pre-Meds, go watch that movie knowing that “Scaring” major is an excellent metaphor for pre-meds. Watch Mike’s experience in particular.
Because even though Mike wants it the most, he’s not the best. He can work harder than everyone else; it’s just not the right fit for him. Just like pre-med.
When you start college, about ½ to 1/3 of people you meet will be premeds. A few weed-out classes later, it’s just a tiny fraction of the student population. It’s hard, and they want to separate the boys from the men. So don’t be discouraged if that’s not where you end up. You might have a different calling, one you haven’t found yet. So explore.

On that note, one of the teachers in the movie reminds the monster’s on their first day that even though they were the “Biggest, Scariest” monsters in their hometowns, that’s not the case in college.
A lot of people at your school were the smartest student in their high school. You also were probably one of the smartest students in your high school. But your whole class is made up of that, so don’t get a complex about no longer being the best. It’s not about competition, it’s about learning.

One excellent warning that hits close to home for so many is the experience of roommates in the movie. When Mike goes in to meet his freshman roommate for the first time, he says something along the lines of “Your best friend for life is behind that door.”

Yeah, do not have those expectations when you start school. If you are even tolerating your roommate by the end of the year you’re doing well. It’s great if your friends, but don’t be too upset if you’re not. Low expectations are really the way to go with roommates.

Though, the room in the frat house that Mike and Sully share is probably the best movie representation of a dorm room I’ve ever seen. Your dorm room is probably going to be a tiny, incontinently set up closet. Prepare for that.

The movie focuses a lot on the rivalry of Mike and Sully when they get to school. They’re the perfect examples of the try hard vs. the natural. Their bickering gets them both into big trouble in the movie. While they eventually find some common ground, their needless rivalry causes more harm than good.
So when you get to school actual rivals aren’t really a thing. But competition? Oh yeah.
Don’t get needlessly competitive with your classmates.  Even if a class is on a bell-curve (an absolutely draconian method that’s pretty common in college), you’re always better collaborating with your classmates, pooling your knowledge, and helping each other out. Otherwise you’re going to end up in big trouble.

Finally, and this is a big one in the movie, don’t base your opinions on people from your initial reactions of them. At the beginning of school, everyone is nervous. Everyone is trying really hard, so people are going to be caricatures of themselves. Just because you don’t like someone first semester freshman year doesn’t mean you’re not going to be good friends later on. One of my friends at school and I hated each other freshman year. Legitimately hated each other’s guts. And then one night, before classes of sophomore year started, we were at the same party and had a really long conversation and decided (in fact, we pinky promised) that we were going to be friends that year. And so we are. People change, so let them surprise you.

All in all, college students are probably going to find a lot to love about Monsters University, so make sure to check it out. It’s really an adorable, funny, heart-felt movie.

How to slack senior year, WITHOUT getting rescinded

One of my sister’s students got rescinded from their school.

Rescinded is a big fancy word for having your acceptance taken away. And yes, that is possible.

Generally speaking, getting rescinded will happen for one of three reasons:

1. School discovers you were dishonest (lied on your application, put two deposits down, applied ED to two schools, etc)
2. You got in trouble (arrested, suspended, expelled, etc.)

3. You slacked off and your grades dropped.

I’m not going to talk about numbers 1 and 2 today (because, really, you shouldn’t let those happen under any circumstances). Today is all about 3.

Because senioritis is inevitable, so knowing how to control it is key to keeping your cozy spot at a school.

So here’s how to slack safely.

Know the threshold:

Though “grades dropping” is a very relative term, there is a basic line that most schools use.

2 or more Cs, any D, and any F. These are hard-lines that apply to quarter, semester, and final grades.
If you are normally a C student, the 2 or more C rule doesn’t really apply, because that’s your typical performance. But if you’re an A student, you shouldn’t be getting Cs at all.

Often if you’re in the iffy zone (2 Cs, or a semester D with an overall higher grade) they’ll ask you to write an appeal about why your grades dropped. Senioritis is not the answer to that question. So don’t let that happen. Keep an eye on your grades and don’t let them slip that much.

Have your guarantee

Do not get senioritis until you have an acceptance in hand. Do NOT slack first semester AT ALL. If you’re normally an A+ student, getting 3 As first semester will look like slacking (unless there was a significant increase in rigor), and can impact how an admissions committee looks at you.
So when can you get senioritis?

Time it well
Senioritis is inevitable, but let it wait. You should be working just as hard up until January when your apps are all in and wrapped up. Then you can let yourself slip a little bit. This means getting a B+ or skipping a few homeworks, not failing a test or two.

Know the values

So I had very calculated senioritis. I knew that if I could get As on all of my AP stat tests I could only turn in half of my homework and still get a B+. So yes, after I got my early decision admission back, I slacked on the homework when I had a busy week.

On the other hand, skipping my AP Lit homework would result in me failing the class, because the value placed on it was much higher.

If your school won’t take your AP credit, just nap through the tests because it won’t matter. If your school does take them, try a little harder and get those credits.

Know where you can slack and where you can’t. Don’t make the mistake of skipping a project when it turns out it’s 10% of your final grade.

Slacking is relative

So even though I did have what I would call a raging case of senioritis, I still had As in a lot of my classes. The one’s I cared a lot about (AP Micro, Spanish, Forensic Science, Theater) I still worked really hard in. The one’s I cared less about (AP Stat, AP Lit) I did less work for. I still got high Bs in those classes (B and B+), which were not great, but were not going to get me rescinded.

The point of slacking senior year is that you’re supposed to relax. But don’t relax too much. There’s a big difference between skipping a homework and skipping a week of school. Be careful, be calculating, and use that little bit of extra time to enjoy yourself.

Senioritis is a privilege, so don’t abuse it.

It’s the Little Things: Party Scene

When you’re looking at colleges you’re going to look at academics a whole lot. But you also want to take a nice hard look at the nightlife as well.

Because as great as class is, a big part of college is what happens on the weekends.

So when you’re looking at a school, make sure to find out what the party scene is like.

Some schools are famous for it. There are lists and reviews and websites all about the biggest “Party schools”

At a school like that, weekends are Wednesday-Sunday. Nobody takes Friday classes. If you’re not going out 3+ nights a week you have no social life.
The big crazy parties with kegs and DJs you see in movies? Yeah. The parties at these schools are like that.

Drinking is part of the campus culture, and so are drugs. Weed is easy to come by, coke is common, and “party drugs” like molly are available to those who know.

A school like this is going to be a fun four years. But academics might fall by the wayside, and social life is what dominates.

Then there are the “Work Hard-Play Hard” schools in the middle.

These schools have a big party scene, but it’s mostly contained to a college weekend (Thursday-Sunday). The academics are hard and you’re expected to do a lot of work. At the same time, nobody is going to be in the library on Saturday night, no matter how stressed they are.

The parties at these schools aren’t quite movie quality, but you can see some of the inspiration.

These schools have a lot of alcohol and drugs, but they’re not as overbearing as the scene at a party school. 

The nightlife is a big part of the culture, but it’s not the only part.

On the other end of the spectrum are schools like mine, those that have “no party scene.”  AKA: Where fun goes to die

This is a school where nightlife takes a backseat to academics. Weekends are Thursday-Saturday, with Sunday night being a “work night,” because you have class Monday morning. If you want to stay in to study, nobody will judge you. You’ll be hard pressed to find a party during the week, and you might have to ask around to find something during high-pressure times like finals.

There are groups of partiers, but it’s definitely not the majority.

Alcohol is pretty easy to come by, but drugs are still pretty underground. Weed is easy, but anything harder is a really nichey market.

The thing is, that even if a school doesn’t have a big party scene, it does have parties.
A fun goes to die school will have parties. They’re a bit calmer and lower budget than other schools, but there are frats and dance parties and lots of alcohol.  But not everyone participates. Not drinking is fine, if that’s what you choose to do.

And if a school does have a big party scene, you’ll still be able to find friends who aren’t into that. The type of friends who want to hang out in small groups on Saturdays, rather than go out dancing.

You’ll be able to find your niche wherever you go. So as important as nightlife is (and it is important) you’ll be able to find a group who lives your type of lifestyle if you’re looking for it.

But make sure that you’re going to be comfortable with the type of school you attend, because while it is possible, it’s a whole lot easier to find those friends when they’re the majority.

On forming your own opinions

Before you go see a movie, you will usually check out a review. If the review is positive, you’ll go see it. If it’s negative, you wont waste your time and money.

Movie reviews are great because movies, and the two or so hours of entertainment they bring, can be objectively good or bad. This isn’t to say that some people don’t like bad movies (I have a soft spot for low-budget, straight to DVD Sci-Fi), but generally a movie is good or it’s bad.

Colleges are not movies.

When you’re looking at schools you’re going to try to ask people who know. People who attended the school, or people who have visited. And while it is great to get opinions, and gather as much information as you can, this can also be a big disservice.

Because when it comes to colleges, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.

There are thousands of colleges in the US alone. And there is a perfect fit for everyone. But there is no “one size fits all” approach.

Lets, for a brief minute, say that you are a crème de la crème student. Valedictorian, 2390, straight As, tons of awards, published author, charismatic, and teachers jumping over each other to write your recs.

You are going to be applying to crème de la crème schools. And though you could theoretically apply to those super-prestigious schools everyone is drooling over, you won’t even peek at a university. You want a small liberal arts college.

But everyone keeps telling you, “Oh they’re so boring” or “Oh it’s so isolating” or “Do you really want to go to a college the size of your high school?”

If you let everyone else’s opinions impact your choices, you might miss out on your perfect match because it wasn’t their perfect match.

You’re the type of student who would be much happier at Amherst than at Harvard, but if you let everyone else’s opinions get in the way, you’re going to miss your chance.

When I was touring schools, I had three separate people try to warn me away from my first choice (that school that I attend and am insanely happy with). One told me that it was too boring and too preppy. One told me that “It’s a decent safety school, but you could do better.” One told me that the work was too hard and grade deflation can kill you.
I still went, because I knew that it was perfect for me.

The same thing comes from hearing horror stories.

I can name two schools that I have advised people away from in the past. One is small and very good at what it does, but everyone I personally know who has gone there has transferred elsewhere within two years. But this is a sample size of three. If someone was a perfect match for this school, my horror story might change the way they think about it.

There’s another school that I know several graduates of, and not one of them was happy while they were there. And yet, it’s programs are so amazing for what it does that I can’t help but tell people I know would benefit from the program to look at it.

Because even though I know 5 or so people who were miserable, who’s to say it wasn’t someone’s perfect fit?

Make your own opinions, go look at the schools, find the “feel” that’s right for you.

Because, as great as a second opinion is, in the end it’s yours that matters most.

Parents and Admissions: The Helpful, The Harmful, and the Huh?

So there’s a whole lot of college chatter in my house right now. The baby is a rising junior who’s future is completely and totally up in the air (as we don’t have a clue what his board scores are going to be).

I also spent some time on the phone with a family friend, trying to teach her how to use College Board’s Matchmaking tool (a pretty awesome, though oftentimes incredibly optimistic tool) for her son. It didn’t go so well. I plan on showing her how to use it in person.


But I digress:

The thing is, parents, even one’s who aren’t totally savvy, often want to be involved in the college application process.

Which, honestly, is usually a good thing. Having involved parents can really help the process along. But, at the same time, overly involved or under informed parents can make the choice a lot less about you and a lot more about them.

So here are some things to know about having involved parents in your process, and how to handle them when they’re out of line.

The Helpful.

Having involved parents can be really great. They can help a lot when you’re touring (as they’re a reliable mode of transportation), and will be pretty in-tune with what schools you like and what schools you don’t like.

Having involved parents can also be really useful for financial reasons. If your parents are honest and upfront with you from the get-go, it can help relieve some of the financial aid heartbreak that can come from getting into a school you can’t afford.

Though you really should try to handle as much of the admissions process on your own as you can (because any contact you make will be recorded, and it shows maturity if it’s coming from you), they can help with some of the scarier things.

If they’re supportive of your choices, and aren’t controlling, they can make school selection pretty easy. Even if you don’t have the best relationship with your parents, they do know you, and they can help parrot back your feelings.

And although I know you’re all mature, upstanding citizens, we all need a kick in the pants from time to time, and if education is a priority in your house, your parents can really help motivate you.

So having involved parents has a lot of benefits. But here are some of the negatives.

The Harmful.

I would say the number one way parents can harm their child’s application process is to overestimate or over-expect the caliber of school their child can apply to.

I know a ton of people who had parents who made them apply to every single ivy league school, only to be angry or disappointed when their child was rejected from each one.

If your parents are out of touch with the process, they may not understand why applying to certain schools is a waste of time and money. Try to explain it to them. Especially emphasize the financial part of it (you’re paying the school for the opportunity to reject you and lower their admissions rate, thus raising their appeal and hurting you).

Emphasize the schools that are realistic for you, and talk about their positives.
Don’t let your parents make you feel like a failure.

If your parents are really pushing and won’t let you get a word in edge wise, go meet with your guidance counselor during school without your parents and tell them what’s going on. They will understand the situation, and will give you realistic school suggestions.

If your parents are pressuring you away from the schools you like to the schools they like, you have to remember that this is your life and you have to pick a school that makes you happy. Your parents can’t expect miracles out of you, and it’s just not possible to make your (possibly) delusional parents happy.

If your parents are being financially withholding (you have to get into school ABC or you’re going to community college) without good reason (ex: the money is there for you to go to school, but they’re only willing to spend it on “approved” schools, or they’ll only pay for application fees if you apply to the schools they like), remember you have to choose your battles. As annoying (and ridiculous) as it is to apply needlessly to their dream school, if you are cooperative they will probably cut you some slack and let you apply to the schools you like as well. A tip for that: Point out that you’re simply increasing your chances of getting into an awesome school.

The Huh?
Another way a parent can be harmful is to harass the school. Don’t send bribes, or emails, or cookies, or threats to the admissions office. You’ll become “That kid with the crazy parents.” Always be very polite and professional to the admissions reps (or, really, anyone from the school). As I said before, you should handle things yourself when applying, only have your parents contact the school as a last resort.

They also might gossip about where you’re applying rather than where you’re actually going to get in. Talk to them, use clichés (un-hatched chickens and all that), and if they’re talking about unrealistic schools, just tell them to low-ball their friends so they’ll be surprised later.

In general, be really honest (brutally honest) with your parents about your chances at various schools.
Remember that you are the one who has to attend, and your opinion matters the most.

And cut your parents some slack, they really want what’s best for you.

My two cents: Relationships, Long Distance, and College

For whatever reason, in the Admissions section of Tumblr, I seem to be the go-to person for relationship problems.

Specifically, long distance relationship problems. It’s something I have experience with, and I love answering all of your questions.

And today I’m going to take my position as the Patti Stanger of Tumblr seriously. I’m about to lay on some real hard-core advice on all of you

So here are my two cents about relationships and college.

First: Your past experience doesn’t matter as much as you think it does

Everyone let out a sigh of relief.

So when you’re in high school you’ve known everyone forever. They know every intimate detail of your life. Which means that your romantic status (never been kissed, never had a boyfriend/girlfriend, still a virgin, etc.) is public knowledge.

So if you’re insecure about your experience (or lack thereof) don’t be. Really.

Because if you don’t tell anyone, nobody will know. Not that it’s shameful or anything, but really, it’s not a big deal. I’ve had a lot of friends who had their first boyfriend/girlfriend in college, and it’s not a big deal.

Sex is a slightly bigger deal, but, again, if you don’t tell anyone they won’t ever know. Nobody cares half as much as you do.

Just do what you’re comfortable with, and know that waiting for the right time is usually worth it.

Second: Hook up culture is real; so don’t get your heart stepped on

Hook up culture is, basically, when people like to have a lot of no-strings-attached flings and avoid actually dating.
In high school hooking up at a party often meant that you were “dating” now.
In college hooking up at a party doesn’t even mean they know your name. It means they were drunk, dancing, and you were there.

Basically, you’re not “official” until you’ve had a real talk about being exclusive. And being exclusive, still, isn’t an indication of someone being your bf/gf. Get that in writing (kidding). Talk to people about your relationship. Monogamy is not implied in college.

If hook ups aren’t your style, don’t worry about it. They’re not everything and they’re not the only thing. But they are very common. 

Third: Long Distance Sucks

Perhaps the most common question I get is, “Should I break up with my high school boyfriend/girlfriend?”

The thing is, my knee-jerk answer is usually yes, you should. But I also have a lot of anecdotal evidence to the contrary (such as my parents, who were high school sweethearts and are still together, or my older sister and her BF of nearly 7 years).

Long distance requires a lot of effort. And it’s not even self-control, gotta keep from cheating (which is, of course, sometimes an issue) effort.

It’s effort to stay in touch. Effort to know about all of the mundane things in each other’s lives. Effort to remain close, despite distance.

You’re going to change a lot this year, and you might end up being a completely different person than you were in high school. Which means that your perfect match may not be as well-suited to you as they once were.

When I was a freshman, about 8 of the 25 girls on my hall were in long distance relationships in August. Only 1 actually lasted past Thanksgiving, and she went home every other weekend to see him.

So if you want to try it, try it. But you have to be prepared for the aftermath if it doesn’t work out. Because it probably won’t.

Fourth: When it comes to long distance, make sure you’re still happy

So you’ve decided to try a long distance relationship. It’s working out okay. You’re not thrilled, but it’s just part of life now. You’re not going to cheat. It just… is.

You might feel stagnant. You might feel unhappy. And you might sit around hoping that your bf/gf screws up so you have an excuse to break up.

Well, here’s the thing. Long distance relationships are a lot of work. So you need to make sure that you’re getting enough out of the relationship relative to what you’re putting in.

When my HS boyfriend of two years and I broke up, after a year of long distance, it wasn’t because either of us had done anything wrong. I just wasn’t happy, and I didn’t want to put in all of the work for a relationship I wasn’t happy with.

Fifth: Sometimes long distance is worth it

The thing is, for all that long distance sucks, sometimes it does work. Sometimes you really love someone, and even though you’d rather be with them, you can survive just texting and skyping and facebooking each other a few months out of the year.

Even though it would be awesome to have them there at school with you, just because someone is there doesn’t mean they’re right for you.

I can’t tell you what you’re feeling. So pay attention.
I had one long distance relationship that made me very unhappy, and one that’s going to be long distance soon that I’m okay with.

There’s no one-size fits all approach.

Just be careful and don’t wait for a catalyst. Be in touch with your feelings. Think about if they’re a “just for now” type of person who you date because they’re there and interested, or a “who knows a few years from now” person who you love and have a great relationship with.

The bottom line:

Be careful when you’re dating in college. Be smart. Make sure you’re happy and comfortable. Don’t take anything for granted. Relationships are hard. But the great ones are worth it.

But what’s your Safety school?

When you’re applying to college you put together a list of the schools you’re going to apply to, usually divided into three types (reach, match, safety).

The redheaded stepchild of this list is usually the safety school. Underappreciated and given almost no attention.

There are some major mistakes people make with their safety schools, but perhaps the biggest of them all is calling a low match a safety.

A low match school is a school where you’re at the top of the middle 50%, or you’re above the middle 50% but have some lack in your application keeping it from being a hole in one, or you simply can’t guarantee you can afford the school.

A good safety school has three components:

1. You can absolutely afford it
2. Even if you don’t love it, there are things about it that compel you to apply (IE: you won’t refuse to go there if you get in)
3. You can absolutely, positively, 100% guarantee you will be accepted because you’re heads above their average applicant, and they have a decent acceptance rate.

While 1 can easily be remedied by adding in a state school, 2 has to come from within, number 3 is where a lot of people screw up.

Because, even if you are basically overqualified, if a school has a low enough acceptance rate, you can’t really guarantee it as a safety school.

I would say that even if you are one of those crazy 4.5W 2350 SAT applicants, your safety school needs to have at least a 30-40% acceptance rate to be a real safety. You’ll probably get into another school, but you need an actual safety net.

Too often I’ve heard applicants who are dreaming of Harvard call a school like Tufts (21% accepted) their safety school. First of all those “Ivy Safety” schools are incredibly difficult to get into, and have similar numbers. And with their tiny (and decreasing) acceptance rates, they’re no one’s safety.

Also, I hate to break it to you; any school with less than a 15% acceptance rate automatically becomes a reach school in my book. I don’t care if you’re qualified, so are 60% of the applicants, they get to pick the best 15% out of that.

So when I was applying there was this tinsy liberal arts school in Pennsylvania that was my safety. I actually really loved the school, and it had a 40% acceptance rate. Even though I was entirely overqualified, I still had another school with a high 40s acceptance rate on my list as my “true safety,” because I knew if I got rejected early decision from my favorite school (30% accepted ED), my confidence would be shot and I would need that extra safety net.

I keep looking at people’s college lists and all I can think is “Well that’s a nice list, but where’s your safety?”

Make sure when you’re applying you have a school that’s a real tried and true safety school, just in case.

Prepping for the Interview: The basic questions

College interviews are becoming more and more common. It’s a way to put your face to the app, and if you’re a personable or charismatic person it can really help tip your app into the admit pile.

But even bucket loads of charisma aren’t enough to cinch an interview, so here are a few questions you should be prepared for:

Why us?  

There are versions of this question, but they always boil down to the why. Here is your chance to suck up and show them why you’re an awesome fit for the school. Luckily, you should already have a list of reasons you love the school. But instead of just listing stats (oh small class sizes and a great quality of education) you wan to personalize it, and show them what you will do at the school. You can talk about the feel of the student body (adjectives anyone?) or how you’ve read papers by one of their professors for years because it’s exactly what you want to do.

What was your biggest accomplishment in high school?

I got this question a lot. Which was hard because my “biggest” accomplishment didn’t happen until the end of senior year.
So how do you tackle this question? You pick something that you are very proud of and says a lot about you. Getting a 2300 on your SAT is impressive, but all that tells the school is that you’re smart. Becoming an officer in your 20+ hours a week club is a much better answer. Also, whatever you do don’t brag. Be humble about it; don’t talk about how impressive it is, just talk about how important it is to you and what you can do with it.

Who is someone you admire?

When you have this question, you might desire to fall into the cliché (famous people of any era, family members). While a cliché is fine a much better and more memorable answer is someone in the field of your passion. Why? Because it tells them something personal about you. When you’re answering this question, make sure to describe who the person is, but you need to tell them what you admire about them (which is telling them something about you).
I talked about a teacher I had at a summer program, and how I desired to be as tenacious and committed as she was. Maybe you worked with someone in a research lab whose commitment to science is uncanny. Or you worked for a nonprofit with someone who was so educated about the issues and was really making a difference.

What do you do with your summers?

This one is a cinch. As long as you do something with your summers, just talk about what you did and what you learned. It doesn’t matter if it’s the world’s most impressive thing or a boring summer job, just talk about the value.

How would you describe yourself? /How would others describe you?

When you’re answering this one make sure to support your points. And stay away from anything overly braggy “Oh I’m so smart” try curious instead. Tell a story to support the point.
You might be curious or fun loving or engaged.
My answer was usually about caring for people (when asked how other’s described me I mentioned that I was always the “Mom” of my drama club).
Give a positive, interesting answer.

What is your favorite class in school?
Here’s the time to talk about your academic passions. If you know what you want to do, bring that up and use the associated class. If you honestly had a class that stood above the rest, even if it’s not in your “area” make sure to bring that up. Just make sure to demonstrate a love of learning (as, remember, this is a school).

Any questions?

YES! YOU DO HAVE QUESTIONS!
Try to ask your interviewer something about them and the school. If it’s a student, “Why did you choose here” or an adult “What’s your favorite/least favorite thing about this school?”
Give them an opportunity to brag about the school.
If you honestly have a question, ask it. The only wrong answer is, “No, but thank you.”  

What tree are you (and the like)?

You might run into this type of question, and just know they’re being asked to see how you think on your feet. Take a bit of time to think this one through before you answer. (FYI: I’m a pine tree. I work all year round and I don’t take time off in the winter. Also I know how to rock some decorations).

In general, just avoid being weird or mean. If you come across as a normal, engaged, well adjusted teenager, you’ll be just fine.

Alcohol Edu Study Guide

This week on the prospect, how not to fail Alcohol Edu

The “Green” way to write: Recycle an Essay

When you’re applying to 10 schools, each with a supplementary essay, you might feel overwhelmed. Writing your original 500 words was hard enough, and another 200-500 per school might drive you to full-on insanity.

So how to you handle this herculean task? Work smarter, not harder.

Though each school has it’s own essay prompts, it doesn’t mean that each school has it’s own essay. There is a practice called recycling, and if it’s done properly, it’s going to save you a lot of time and effort.

Essay recycling is when you use one essay for more than one school. So here are the basic types of supplements and how to properly recycle them.

The “Why Us?”

This type seems like it’s impossible to recycle, but actually it’s pretty simple.
There are probably several schools that are very similar on your list. The things you love about schools, or look for, are probably found at nearly every school you’re applying to.  So if your why essay for one small LAC is about class sizes and the community of professors, you can probably re-use some of it for another small LAC. Or if a school is known to be LGBT friendly and you talk about that in your why essay, those bits can be recycled. You might need to change small details and names (like the name of the school, DON’T BE THAT KID), but you can definitely keep a lot of the meat of that essay the same.

The “Tell us About a Time When ___”

These are probably the easiest to recycle. These essays are often about certain themes (Failure, Diversity, Accomplishment, Community, etc.), and many times schools will overlap on the prompt. You may need to tweek a few details, but if you have one great story, you might be able to use it for multiple apps.

The “Let’s ask an obscure or hard question”

Bad news first, these types exist to be impossible to recycle. I’ve talked about these one’s before, and the whole point of these essays is a school wants to know you put time and effort into applying, not recycling.
So you may not be able to recycle an essay per se for these ones, you might get really lucky and have a story from another essay that works for these prompts. I suggest writing these ones last when your muscles are exercised and you have a better idea of how to write one of these essays.

The “Tell us anything about you”

These should be the easiest to recycle, but there are a few traps. These are the open ended prompts that many schools are favoring these days. When you write an essay for this you may just want to recycle another essay and get the job done. While that’s a good idea, you will want to make it a bit less obvious that you’re using another school’s prompt. Especially if you’re using the great essay you wrote for a “unique” prompt school, they’re going to be able to tell. So make sure it’s a compelling essay that shows a school your talent as a writer and something awesome about you, not just a copy and paste of another school’s essay.

So remember, supplements are there to hit on something a school wants from you. You should take time and put a lot of effort into each school’s supplement, but that doesn’t mean that you need to write a brand new essay for each school. Though the prompts don’t all come out at the same time, take a long hard look at them and see if there are overlaps. You might be able to save yourself a boatload of work.

Unpopular Opinion: A fresh start is (probably) not a big change

Everyone tells you that college is a great time for a fresh start. You’re in a new place, with new people, and the world is your oyster.

For many, this means that they are going to grab life and run with it. They know what they’re interested in, they join clubs similar to the ones they did in high school. They meet friends and go off on their merry way.

But for some, college is time to make a change. That pesky reputation from your small town doesn’t matter in a school of 8000 strangers. You got all new clothes. You’re going to join the clubs that websites like college prowler told you had the hottest people.

This, of course, lends itself to the stereotype of the formerly dorky high school kid who’s going to wear a fedora for the first month of school and think it makes them edgy. Yeah not so much.

While things definitely get better in college, you can’t really change your stripes.

Trust me, this is a lesson that’s often learned the hard way. You might seek out some kind of status, but you’re going to gravitate to the people who are like you. And you’re going to be happier with people who you like.

If you’re an introvert that’s part of who you are. Should you go out and meet people? Absolutely. But if after a few weeks of going out to frat parties three nights a week you’re exhausted, find some friends who like to hang out and have a more relaxing time. You should still push yourself to go out time to time (it is part of college), but you need to do what makes you happy.

The thing is, the parts of you are still going to be the same, but a fresh start can have you using your personality in a new way. The house is built, but you can always redecorate, so to speak.

I was a nerd in high school. I was always a nerd; I’ll always be a nerd. But at college that’s not everything about me. I’m known for being funny and sarcastic and enthusiastic. I’m also known for being a huge nerd at times, but, you know, sometimes you need to wear your Ninja Turtle Onsie on St. Patrick’s Day because they’re green and you comfortably fit into children’s clothes at 20, but I digress.

I’m a lot more comfortable in my skin at school. Because things get better with a fresh start.

I got to shed the terrible reputation I had in high school. I was opinionated and bossy, I was angry all the time. I was kind of mean because I was bullied so harshly when I was younger that I put up big walls.

So the pieces of me are still the same (20% nerdy obsession, 30% humor, 30% caring about my friends and passions, 20% caffeine), but without the background the more positive parts of my personality have come out. I’ve learned to use humor and my love of people for good. My personality didn’t change, but I did.

You’re going to change in college. That’s a fact. You’re going to grow and learn and become independent. But you’re still going to be you.

Even if you’re basically the same, things are different in high school. To be quite frank, nobody cares about reputation in college. There’s no popularity or cool table. You have your friends and your clubs, and that’s that. So you can let your freak flag fly and go after your passions.

A new start is a great thing. It will boil your personality down and build it back up. And you can build it back up into something great, something that’s well suited to the context. To a person you’re happier being.

But the parts of you are still going to be basically the same. So rock them, cultivate them, and make them awesome.

Appreciate the fresh start, but don’t expect miracles.

Graduation is for your parents

Graduation kind of sucks. It’s kind of boring. But you have to do it.
Really, you have to.

So even though I’m a member of NHS, technically I was never inducted. Why? I just didn’t show up for the ceremony. I had better things to do that night.
I won three “senior awards” in high school. The ceremony was 3 hours of my life in an unairconditioned auditorium that I will never ever get back.
Graduation? A long and tiring process where all 555 members of my senior class were announced and given a diploma. I got to sit on the stage because I was in the select singing group that sang the national anthem. Which meant I was announced nice and early, but we sat through everything.
But it wasn’t about me. Because, really, graduation is for your parents.

Kids, you got prom. You got to dress up and hang out with your friends and dance the night away (watching out buttoned up valedictorian jump-dancing with his girlfriend is still, to date, one of the best things I’ve ever seen).  You get days to sign your yearbooks and say goodbye.
But graduation? You take pictures in your (very unattractive) robes, with all 10000 of your tassels and medals. You’re heading off to the best college in the world in the fall. This is a time for your parents to see you grow. To commemorate the amazing job they did raising you.
So even though you look like a huge dork, smile. Take a picture with grandma. Shake the principal’s hand on stage. Let your parents scream and clap when your name is announced.
Let your parents have their night to be proud of you and your accomplishments.
Remember, this is all for them. Let them have their moment in the sun.
And be glad that you have a lot of much more attractive pictures from prom.
For reference:

This was for me

This was for my parents

On taking a break

The year is wrapping up for nearly everyone. It was hard, there were long sleepless nights and stress and freak-outs. But you’ve finished. For some, you’re about to graduate and start the next step of the journey. Others are happy to have completed the year and are one step closer to graduation (the horror).

The thing is, you’ve got a few months ahead of you to rest and replenish your energy for the next year.

While I’ve outlined what you should do during your senior, junior, and underclassmen summers, there is one thing that is vital to everyone’s success: Take a break.

I know. We’re all perfectionist workaholics who are attending 10 skilled programs, doing independent research, and building houses in Africa for a week. But there are limits to what the mind can take, and we need to appreciate them.

Being a teenager has a lot of benefits, and one of them is that, to some extent, you’re expected to seize the day.

So take a day off from work to travel to another state to see a concert. Try a new restaurant every week with your friends. Go to that weird touristy thing in your town and have an awesome time.

Applications are important, but they’re not everything.

You have plenty of time to come up with interesting, thoughtful, interview/essay appropriate stories. But you also need a few crazy ones to share with your friends when you get to school.

That’s not to say you have to do things that make you uncomfortable. But there’s a difference between doing something dangerous and taking a risk. Take a few risks.

Trust me, when I got to school I didn’t tell my new college friends about how much my home friends and I loved to play apples to apples on Saturday nights (we’ve grown up now, we play cards against humanity). I talked about how we sometimes used to dress up in fancy clothes to watch movies. Or that when we went to Disney on a school trip we sang Happy Birthday to everyone with an “It’s my birthday” pin and got rewarded with free candy. Or when my school was doing it’s infamous “road rally” my friends and I went out for ice cream, and then drove around our town blasting show tunes.

Take some time this summer to make some memories with people. Take a break. Have some fun. Treat every summer like it might be your last opportunity to be a kid.

You’ve got time to find things for your applications, but real summer breaks are few and far between.

Some Graduation Gift Ideas:

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When you’re about to head off to college suddenly everyone wants to buy you a nice, practical gift. The thing is, it’s rough to come up with a list of everything you need, especially before you have a roommate. Because you don’t know the situation of who you’re living with, you don’t want to buy your fridge, TV, microwave, or bedding yet.

So here is a list of some great things to ask for:

Super Cheap: Posters, removable wall stickers, and other decorations 

            Simple decorations can go a long way when it comes to decorating your room. I still have a clock and a white board that my friends bought me on my 18^th birthday. Decorations can be exactly catered to your taste, will transfer room to room, and come at a variety of prices.

Moderately Priced: School Swag

            When you’re in college it’s totally acceptable to roll out of bed in a t-shirt and sweatshirt, pull on jeans, and head to class. Just make sure you’re showing off your school spirit while doing this. While people will tell you again and again not to buy T-shirts before you head to school (because you’ll get a million free ones), I think it’s a good idea to get one or two in designs you really like. I have cut up almost all of my free school shirts into tanktops for the gym because most of them are pretty ugly and unflattering. But I do have 3 really pretty; flattering t-shirts I got for graduation. A good sweatshirt (with embroidered letters) is another good, but slightly more expensive, investment.

Unknown Price: Amazon Gift Cards

            Textbooks are the biggest scam you’ll come across in college. Don’t be fooled by the bookstore prices, you can almost always find them used  (and way cheaper) on Amazon. Amazon gift cards can be used to pay for textbooks in the new school year (an excellent investment). This is also a good thing to ask for from people who haven’t given you a price range for gifts.

Expensive: Netflix

            If you don’t already have Netflix, and you have a pretty generous gift coming your way, get a Netflix streaming account (DVDs are a waste of money). Hulu Plus is another option, but seriously, Netflix is essential in college. They can gift you a subscription, and it will be a good time-waster when you get to school. Even if you don’t have a TV, seriously, there will be days you need to watch all of 30 Rock or Scrubs in one sitting.
This was my “big” present senior year (from all of my aunts and uncles) and it was such a good investment that my entire family mooched onto my account and its now a “family” account (that I no longer have to fund!).

Other things to ask for:
A new wallet or ID holder (NOT A LANYARD).

Rain Boots (seriously, you’ll need them)

Kindle (I know real books are better, but you don’t have a ton of storage in college!)

A laptop (seriously essential in college)

Noise canceling headphones (I have earbuds for running, but a good pair of headphones is very necessary).

Electives: Strike a Balance

When signing up for classes we’re constantly pressured to take more classes and harder classes. But these tips are all about the core-4 (English, Social Studies, Math, Science).

So how on earth are we supposed to pick our electives?

Today I’m going to break down the basic types of electives, and how to spin them in the application process.

Type 1: The academic elective

            This is when you sign up for an extra core-4 class as an elective. I would say that AP Statistics (while taking Calc) is the most common type of this. But this could also be an extra science, English, math, or social studies. Really, this is any non core-4 AP (Computer Science, Art History, Psych, etc.).

These classes are great to talk about when asked about the rigor of your schedule. You added in extra classes. This demonstrates passion in a subject and a need to challenge yourself.

But: This type can be stressful (as it’s an extra academic class) and may not be as enjoyable as other options. If you’re choosing to do these that’s great, but make sure that you have some things you enjoy and won’t be too stressed in as well.

Type 2: The artsy elective

            This is a class in any creative or performing art. Included are studio art, music, dance, theater, etc.

These types of classes show that you have a passion in an art, and a talent. If you’re really good at one of these you could even send in an arts supplement LINK. Taking time off from your studies to pursue these classes demonstrates your commitment to the arts, which is a big plus.

But: At many schools there is no way to increase the rigor of this class (ex: there’s only one level of theatre or orchestra), which won’t hurt, but also is slightly less impressive. Make sure, if you’re talking about these classes, that you mention how you challenged yourself year after year by adding rigor to the same projects.

Type 3: The technical elective

            This is a class geared towards teaching you a skill. This could be computer science, auto shop, engineering or robotics of any kind, or any kind of building/architecture class.

These types of classes are excellent because they are teaching you a real skill. Even better, these can often translate into a college major, and demonstrate skills in the field. Make sure you have a portfolio of the individual projects you’ve done, and any interesting things you’ve finished.

But: These classes can be challenging, so be careful that you’re doing your best in them. Additionally, sometimes the higher levels of these classes can be hard to explain, so if the class is something interesting/impressive make sure that a good description is given.

Type 4: The skills elective

            This is any type of elective where you’re learning a real life skill. This could be anything from a home-ec class that’s teaching you how to cook and sew to a class on debate and conflict resolution. These can also be vocational-based classes. Anything that involves volunteering would also fall under this umbrella.

These types may not often carry the prestige that a more challenging elective provides, but they’re classics. People who take these types of classes are probably well adjusted, and are ready to take on the world.

But: As I said, these classes often carry the stigma of being “easy.” And while there’s nothing wrong with an easy elective (we all need that extra A or two), make sure you’re balancing these with more difficult classes.

Type 5: The business elective

            This is when you’re learning anything about economics, finance, marketing, real estate, and accounting. Anything that’s taught in the business school at college.

These types are excellent because you’re learning real life skills and you’re demonstrating an interest in the subject. If you’re thinking of being a business major, check these out to get a bit of background in the subject.

But: These types of classes might be difficult, especially if you have no background. You might also take versions of these same classes in college, which could be frustrating for a variety of reasons.

So when you sign up for electives make sure to have a nice well-rounded balance of rigor and interests. Experiment and try new things, you never know what that extra class you took on a whim will end up teaching you or where it will take you.