What's in a (Facebook) Name?

What’s in a name? or Why changing your name on Facebook will not make a difference.

There’s a bit of a trend for applicants to change their names on Facebook when applying to college.
While these changed names are incredibly amusing to see every September, they’re not accomplishing what you’re trying to accomplish.

Changing your name will not make your facebook unfindable, because you can still be found under your old name.
And then whoever is looking you up is going to ask “Well what are they hiding?”

So what should you do if your Facebook isn’t up to snuff?

Don’t hide it! Clean it up!

There are two ways to go about cleaning up your Facebook.

There’s type A (the one I recommend): There’s nothing to hide, look at my squeaky clean facebook

And there’s type B: You can look but you can’t touch.

First of all, your Facebook should be relatively private anyway, but I’d recommend bumping up your privacy very high. Make everything maximum privacy if you’re a type B.

Profile Pictures:

This will be easier if you’re a squeaky-clean type of kid. The goal is to look normal, but the best version of that.   

Make your profile picture of you and a friend, or you and your family. A formal event or holiday is best. Look put-together but normal. Go for clean cut, err on the side of conservative. Smiling is best. Your boobs or abs should not be out. No sexy pouts. You are not seducing your Facebook viewers. No visible alcohol (and in a cup or a koozie or disguised as a cat doesn’t work). Also couple pictures (with a bf/gf) are okay, but don’t be kissing or groping.

You should not use a silly picture. Though they’re cute at times (I love a good silly picture) having a picture that is attractive and smiley will subconsciously look better to anyone looking at your facebook. And when I mean attractive, I do not mean sexy. Do not use a sexy picture. 

And for heavens sake, no selfies! Anything that looks like one of these Bieber selfies will not do.

If you’re a theatre/performing or a sports kid, you can use a picture from a recent performance or game. If there are any pictures from traveling or from volunteering you’ve done, these work great as well.

Cover Photos:

Cover Photos are a bit harder, especially since they’re new.  I’ve had little time to test them for cleaning a facebook, and many of us have only had 2 or 3 compared to 20 profile pictures.

Your cover can be basically anything. Be sure it’s age-appropriate and grandmother appropriate.

My best suggestion is to use a group picture of your friends, maybe dressed up at junior prom, just clustered around on someone’s couch , or at a group dinner. You can use a silly picture (as long as its appropriate G-Rated silly) if you’d like.

Friend pictures to avoid:

Going out pictures (even if there’s no alcohol in the background the black miniskirts, sequin dresses, and bandage dresses are a giveaway) or beach pictures (to be on the safe side, ad reps don’t need to know what you look like in a bikini).

If you’re into art or photography use a piece of your work. If an organization you’re in is using it for an advertisement (this may be more common in college, but bear with me) and it’s recent, use that.
Or just use a pretty picture of scenery or something that matters to you.

Now I’ll go into the type specific adjustments.

Type A:
The idea is to make you look like a normal, thoughtful, clean-cut high school student (which you are). Your page will be available to view (more on this later) but it won’t matter, because you have nothing to hide or be ashamed of. You’re the type of Facebook who can be friends with their parents and grandparents.

First of all unlike any inappropriate pages you currently like (an R rated movie is okay, “I will enter the new year drunk” is not).
Update your “likes” to include things about you. Favorite movies, sports, TV shows, activities, books are all things that are appropriate ways to express yourself. Have at least 10 books “liked” on your facebook page.

Untag any pictures of yourself that aren’t up to a clean standard. I don’t care if college students drink. You’re in high school, you’re breaking a law, and  you’re documenting it.

Delete any wall posts people make that aren’t PG-13 or below.

Refrain from using bad language.

Go through your profile pictures and delete any ones that don’t meet standards, and delete any comments that aren’t PG-13 or below.

Post occasional statuses about what you’re up to (club meetings/events, community service, hanging out with friends, movies or TV you watch, books you read, etc) and post links about things that interest you. Funny links are okay too (just keep it PG-13 rated).

Set your privacy settings so that anyone can see your profile picture, cover photo, and posts by you. Keep all other things private (friends only or friends of friends only).

Now you should like the admissions page for the school your applying to (many have facebooks).

Do quick checks of other media accounts you use (Twitter, YouTube, Blogs, Instagram, Tumblr, anything that can come up by googling your name, username, or email).

That’s a Type A.

Now Type B is for the student who does have something to hide.

The game here is damage control and security. You are going to set your privacy settings to the highest one (friends only). The only thing someone who is not your friend should be able to see is your profile picture.

 You will go through your profile picture album and delete any pictures that are not G rated, and comments that are not PG-13 Rated.

Refrain from using poor language in any posts, untag yourself from drinking pictures.

Unlike any events that aren’t G rated (club promotions, house parties, the like).

Unlike any “likes” that aren’t clean (R rated movie example again).

Do not “like” the admissions page for your school or friend anyone who works at/goes to that school (unless you’re already friends and have vested interest in keeping them on facebook).

And finally do quick checks of other media accounts you use (Twitter, YouTube, Blogs, Instagram, Tumblr, anything that can come up by googling your name, username, or email).

And that should keep you relatively safe.

So ladies and gents, there’s the solution.

Changing your name says “I have something to hide, please don’t find me”

Having a high security facebook says “I’m a normal teenager who doesn’t want to interact with strangers online”

And why wouldn’t you want to use that to your advantage?