Happy D-Day everyone. And may the odds be ever in your favor

D-day.
Decision Day. Denial Day. Death Day.

Ivy Release day.

It comes once a year. And it’s stressful. You feel like your teeth are falling out until 5PM, when you feel like every second is a millennium.

While I never went through D-Day in the first person (I applied early decision to my school), I know how stressful it can be. You might be waiting on your one dream reach school. You might be waiting for that denial you know will come. It might be a success. It might crash and burn. And, more than anything, you just want this waiting to be over.

So top three tips for D-Day:

1.     Keep yourself distracted

I know that waiting is hard. Trust me. I’m terrible at it. But distract yourself. My parents took me to the bookstore (my favorite place) on my release day and had me walk around and look at books for an hour to help me release my anxiety. It helped. Do something that you love , something where you’re bound to get engrossed in something. Go for a run, see a movie, take your dog for a walk. Anything fun.

2.     Don’t compare yourself

Its very likely that some of your friends are waiting to hear back. Do yourself a favor. Stay off of facebook if you don’t have good news. Seeing others getting in is only going to depress you more.

3.     Know that the pain of rejection shall pass, and you’ll fall in love with the school you go to.

If you’re a qualified or pseudo qualified ivy applicant, even your safety schools are going to be top-notch. Everything happens for a reason, and there is a plan. So maybe you weren’t meant to go to Harvard, or maybe life didn’t mean for you to get enough financial aid to go to Cornell. You were meant to go to your state school for free, because that money saved is going to help you later on. There are always silver linings out there, find them.

Good luck everyone.

It’s the little things: Dressing for class

Today I was hosting a visitor to my school who pointed out that the students at my school “dress for class.” While I had heard the term before, I never thought it applied to my school. To me “Dressing for class” is wearing suits, or sundresses and pearls.

People at my school definitely have style, but seeing someone in running clothes or sweatpants is just as common as seeing someone in a sweater and riding boots.

So a little thing to consider when visiting schools is, “Do students get dressed up for class?”

I have my own personal style rules that I follow, and I definitely am the type to dress up for class (I don’t even own sweatpants). Many schools have a typical “atheistic” that students generally conform to. This might be southern preppy, northern preppy (yes they’re different), metropolitan, hipster, punk, athletic, etc. And while there are no rules for displaying your own style, it’s always nice to go somewhere that you can share clothes with your friends.

Personally, I like to look nice 99% of the time, and no one finds it strange that I dress up in class here. But it’s just as common to see someone in leggings and a t-shirt.
And yet, you don’t really see PJ pants in class here.

When you’re touring, look around at what the students are wearing. If you’re a messy hair and sweatpants kind of person, a school where all the girls are wearing pearls might not be the best fit.

Likewise, if you’re the type of person who takes their appearance very seriously, a school where snow mandates layers and layers of warm clothing might not work out for you.

Dressing for class should be a personal choice, but it’s always best to go somewhere where you’re not going to stick out like a sore thumb for caving and wearing leggings and a sweatshirt to an exam.

So, make sure to find out if students dress up or dress down for class

Don’t base it on one person

            When investigating a list of schools the question will always arise: Do we know anyone who goes there?

For my top 3, which ended up being a top 2 when I took Kenyon out of the running (just too far and too hard to travel to, though I still think it’s a fabulous school), I had a sibling at one, and knew not a soul at the other.

I eventually found 3 people to contact for my school. I didn’t know any of them directly, but 6 degrees of separation helped.

One of them had a terrible experience. He enjoyed the nightlife a little too much and eventually dropped out because his grades were too low. (Which is funny to me now, because people often complain about the lack of nightlife here).

One of them had a mediocre experience. It was a safe-ish school for her (low match) and though she had a good time and enjoyed it greatly, she didn’t feel super strongly about it.

One absolutely loved it and raved about the school to me. She told me about how happy she was and how wonderful the programs were.

Three people with three very different experiences.

When you’re asking current students about their experiences remember that you’re only seeing one point of view. Their experiences are going to be biased by what they participate in, who their friends are, what their major is, and just their personality in general.

If I have an opinion on something I either love or hate it. So I l.o.v.e. LOVE my school. But when I talk to people I know who are still in high school, I always make sure to remind them that even though I love my school it’s definitely not for everyone. If you can’t handle stress, grade deflation, or being surrounded by nerds all the time, you probably won’t be very happy here. But if you thrive on stress and love some nerdy nerds, it’s great.

So don’t base your opinions of the school on one person’s experience. One person’s trash is another’s treasure.

Unpopular Opinion: Don’t keep your hopes up on a waitlist.

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Author’s Note: Today’s going to be a bit depressing, just starting out. But remember that this series is unpopular opinion; it’s how I feel about something after going through the process myself and helping others. Don’t take this as law, if it doesn’t work for you don’t do it. That being said, lets move on.

Your decisions have finally come in, and, alas, you have received a spot on the waitlist from your very top choice school.

You don’t know what to do. You’re not in… but it’s not a full-blown rejection either… So you know you’re not happy but you’re also not terribly sad. It’s a weird limbo space. One that, unfortunately, is going to require you to wait and wait and wait some more. More uncertainty. More checking your phone and email constantly. Just… more waiting.

So what should you do if you’re waitlisted?

First of all, ask yourself the question: If I got in here, would I 100% go?

If the answer is yes, send back that post-card or email accepting your place on the waitlist.

If the answer is no, it might be best to put it aside in your head and deny your spot.

Why?

Because the anxiety of waiting for something that probably won’t happen might hurt more than closing that door altogether. You may very well be better off denying that spot on the waitlist and focusing on the for sure things than waiting around to hear back. If a school is not absolutely your first choice, you might be better off saving yourself the heartache of sitting on a waitlist.

What do you mean, probably won’t happen?

Waitlists are created with the hope that they wont be used. Schools have a complex calculation of approximately how many people accept their offers of acceptance, and use that to send out enough acceptances to fill their class. The waitlist is a backup in case not enough admitted students enroll.

Very few people are actually admitted off of waitlists. Some smaller schools accept as few as 3 or 4 students off of their waitlists, while the higher end of the spectrum have about 70 or 80 accepted.

That’s out of hundreds or thousands of students on the waitlist.

So what should I do?

Take a waitlist as a nice rejection. There was nothing wrong with you, you were certainly qualified, but nothing gave you that tip factor into the admit pile. You’re gently rejected. The “oh I would if I could”

But they probably can’t. So don’t get your hopes up too too high.

I would say that if you were only accepted to your safety schools and waitlisted by all of your “matches” (insert skepticism, a raised eyebrow, and the thought that “high matches are not matches” here), accept spots on your matches’ waitlists. If you really feel that your offers are subpar, you should try your luck with a waitlist. But remember, your chances are slim on a waitlist.

But this isn’t the only case where you can accept a waitlist spot:

You should accept a spot on a waitlist if you desperately want to attend a school. If you cant shut the door in your heart, take that spot.
BUT
Find and commit to other things as well.

Still go to admitted student’s days for the schools you did get into. Put down a deposit on the one that is best for you. Buy the apparel, stalk the incoming student’s group, and declare your undying love to your future home on facebook.
Don’t count on the waitlist coming through.

It might, but don’t count on it happening.

My biggest piece of advice for waitlists is, even if you end up taking a place on a waitlist, treat it as a closed door in your mind. Eliminate the possibility of attending that school. Because sitting around waiting for the waitlist is going to get you nowhere fast.

Be excited for the opportunities you’ve been given, don’t sit around hoping for the one in a million chances.

Weird Tip: Make academic goals (And then re-evaluate them constantly).

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One of the best pieces of academic advice I ever received was that I shouldn’t make goals for my classes until I had my first grades.

This, of course, goes against everything we’re taught. You’re supposed to shoot for the moon, strive to be the best, only accept perfection… Right?

Well actually, you’re more likely to reach your goals, and be satisfied with your performance, if you’re realistic about your expectations.

You should absolutely make goals, but they should be attainable and realistic. We can’t all get straight As all the time. Sometimes there are classes that we’re happy to get a B in (have I mentioned I took astrophysics in college?). But if you make your goals before you really know what to expect from the class, you may find yourself giving up out of discouragement.

Okay then, what should I do?

Start off in every class the way you usually do, striving for that 100% or A.

Then see the syllabus and get a good picture of what the class is going to look like. Is it going to play to your strengths? Or are all of the evaluations in your least-favorite format. If you’re a mediocre at best writer, and a class comes down to one final essay, you may have to lower your expectations for the grade just a bit.

After a few weeks in the class, you’re going to have a decent idea of what the level of difficulty is going to be, and that might change your expectations a bit as well.

Then, finally, take the first test (or turn in that first essay, present your first oral presentation, etc). See how you do. Many times you’ll find that even though you thought you understood the material, you didn’t hit the level of detail you needed. Though you can always improve on a poor first test grade, oftentimes you will have to adjust your expectations after it returns.

Adjusting your goals is not admitting defeat. In fact, having realistic goals keeps you from rage quitting on effort. Well if I’m not going to get an A it doesn’t matter should never be your attitude.

If you can only realistically expect a B, don’t see that B as a failure. Make that B your goal, the best of your ability. Be PROUD of that B (again, have I mentioned astrophysics?)

The same goes for college admissions. While you can gauge your competitiveness, many of us oversell ourselves when picking out dream schools. Maybe that first rejection can help you adjust your expectations for what a realistic college is.

Be proud of what you have done, don’t dwell on lost dreams.

It’s the little things: Core Requirements

When looking at schools high school students tend to ignore the core. Those pesky general education classes that students have to take to graduate are hardly a blip on a high school student’s radar, because it seems no different from high school.

And that, my dear children, is where you’re going to make a big mistake.

One of the best parts of college is that you get to study things you’re interested in broadly and deeply. You might take a bunch of classes in your history major, and then a few dance or science classes that interest you.

So pay close attention to the school’s required classes before you choose it.

Most schools have you take at least one class in the major subjects (A History, a Social Science, an English/Literature, an Art, a Math, a Natural Science), though some break down a little differently.

For example, even though there are 7 different areas of the gen-eds at my school, you have to take 3 histories, 2 hard sciences with lab (biological and physical), 2 social sciences, 1 English/literature, 1 math, 1 philosophy, 1 art, and 4 semesters of foreign language). The idea is that, because it’s a liberal arts university, you have to take a variety of courses in both sciences and humanities, and it should take up about 1/3 of your time at the college (the other 2/3 being major requirements and electives).

 This did not really deter me very much (though not having to take a physical science would have been great). You can choose to take these classes in whatever department you choose as long as they qualify the requirement. So, for example, I ended up taking almost all of my literature and history classes in the religious studies department, hence my unintentional religious studies major. My music-major roommate takes her history classes in the music department. My fellow psych majors and I take the required psych-stats class for our math and neuroscience classes for our biological science.

Other schools have fewer required classes, but less flexibility in what you can take. So while some schools might have a variety of math classes to take that range in difficulty, others might have one general math class that covers lots of subjects that every student has to take.

This option never appealed to me, because I didn’t want to be pitted against physics and math majors on the same curve. Nor did I want to have to turn in literature essays with the English majors when doing anything but APA citations gives me a headache.

And still, some schools do away with the core entirely. This option is nice because it ensures that everyone in all of your classes really wants to be there. Another pro is that not having to take classes in your weaker subjects really does wonders for your GPA. But this can leave you to be very limited in what you take. Did I enjoy astrophysics? No. Did I learn a lot and am I a more educated individual for having taken it? Yes. And I never would have taken that without my school laying down the law with me having to take physics.

One last thing to learn is how the classes are graded. One of my best friends goes to a school that lets her pass/fail 1 class a semester, even her core and major requirements. This can do wonders for your GPA if you choose your pass/fails wisely. My school, on the other hand, only lets you pass/fail elective classes (no core requirements or major/minor requirements), and only junior and senior year. This system makes sense in the context of my school (hello grade deflation and well-rounded focus), but also can really suck (see previous comment about astrophysics, the most work I’ve ever done for a B).  

So the main things to evaluate about a school’s core are

1.    What subjects must I take classes in?

2.    How many of each type of class do I have to take?

3.    Are there general classes, or can you pick and choose what fills the requirements?

4.    Can I pass/fail the required classes, or must they be on a grade scale to count?

It’s the little things: Semesters vs. Quarters

One of the things that sets a college apart is how their schedule works. The majority of colleges and universities use a semester system, where there’s a fall and a spring semester. You’re usually in school from August to December, and January to May, and you take two sets of classes a year.

Some schools, however, use a Trimester or Quarter system (they’re the same thing). You start school in September and finish in December. Then you have a set of classes from January to March, and a set of classes from April to June. You take three sets of classes a year.

While it doesn’t seem like that big of a difference while you’re looking at schools, it will make a big difference while you’re there. Many people who are on quarters find the system to be a bit isolating if all of their friends are on semesters, because the breaks never line up.

For example:

I am very good friends with a pair of twins who I went to middle and high school with. Since I started college, I have only ever been in the same room with both of them once. Why? One goes to a school on semesters, and one on quarters.

This doesn’t mean that being on the same system as your friends ensures you’re going to have your breaks together. I go to school in the south while most of my friends from high school stayed in NY. I always have my breaks a week or two before my friends, meaning I only get to see most of them for a day or two when I’m home.

While it’s not a huge decider, it is something to consider.

I guarantee some of your friendships from high school will fall by the wayside, but having mismatched breaks can make a huge difference.

The semester system is nice because it allows you to take longer classes. You’ll learn a little bit more as there are a few extra weeks to get information in. You’ll only have to deal with two sets of finals, which is still two too many.  

A big advantage of the quarter/trimester system is that you get to take three sets of classes a year. This is great because you’re more likely to get to take all of the classes that interest you, and if something really stinks you get to be out of it faster.

So a little thing to consider when choosing schools, Semesters or Trimesters?