No love at first sight? Perfectly okay!

When you’re college searching everyone around you is constantly telling you “Oh, you’ll know the right school when you visit” or “You’ll just feel it” or “There’s a perfect school for everyone”

While this is true for some, know that it is not the case for everyone.

It is perfectly okay to not fall in love with a school, even when you’ve already committed to it.

You might like a lot of schools, you might be indecisive, or you just might not be able to set your heart on a school you know won’t work out.

If finances are an issue, that should be your number one deciding factor, and if anything, falling in love might hurt you in the long run.

Not everyone has a “dream” school with a strong emotional connection. For some the “head” factors are a lot stronger than the “heart” factors.

Maybe you tour tons of schools and like several of them, but none of them tug on your heart.

Or maybe you’re limited to your state schools, and as good as your flagship is, it’s not necessarily something you’re excited about.

That is okay. That is normal. And that is healthy.
As someone who was so stressed out the week I heard back from my early decision “love, must attend” school that I went to three different doctors, not being in love might be a better life decision.

When you’re searching, you might not find love. And that’s okay.

And more than that, it’s perfectly normal to not have strong feelings for a school you’ve decided on.

Many students are disappointed with their acceptances because their dream didn’t work out. They might discover the school they thought would be throwing money at them suddenly became stingy. Or maybe the thought of going across the country for four years is a lot scarier when it’s reality rather than a vague dream.

So you might be wearing that sweatshirt to a school you’re not enthusiastic about with ambivalence. Yes you’re excited about college, but your not excited about your college.

It’s okay not to love a school at first. You’ll learn to love it.

You’ll find friends who are like your family. You’ll join clubs that make you get out of bed in the morning on the weekends to do amazing things with amazing people. You’ll take classes with professors who will set you on paths you never thought to explore. You’ll have crazy experiences with your roommate, good and bad. You’ll ruin something in the laundry. You’ll take wilderness journeys at 4 in the morning for no reason.

It’s okay not to be in love with the idea of a school, because, quite frankly, once you get there it’s all about the experience.  

So if you’re not head over heels about any school you’re looking at? Know that it’s okay. It’s normal. And you won’t feel the same once you get there.