Find a mentor, be a mentor

The transition from high school to college is a terrifying one. You are going into uncharted waters, and you’re going to feel a little lost. But there is always someone who can help you find the way, if you’re willing to ask.

So, as you near the end of high school, find yourself a mentor.

A mentor is someone who’s a little older and wiser, who can help you through scary things like senior year and entering college. You might find them in your classes, clubs, or just through mutual friends. They’re someone who you look up to, admire, and who seems to have it all together. They can give you advice and help you sort out your feelings.

A mentor is a little different from an advisor because they’re your age and they’ve just been through whatever you’re going through. They’re there for you and they’re going to vouch for you when the time comes.

The qualities you want to look for in a mentor:

Encouraging – They aren’t going to be a Debbie downer about your goals and dreams.
Good Listener- Sometimes you just need to vent to get your thoughts out. A good mentor will listen to your rants, and help you collect your thoughts. 
Have it “Together” – Though mentors may be busy with their own lives, they are organized and available to you when you really need them

Knowledgeable/Wise- They know what they’re talking about. Obviously they don’t know everything, but they know enough to be an asset.

Helpful- They’re there for you to help you. They can give you advice and guidance that you agree with and take to heart. A mentor isn’t worth having if you don’t like the advice they give.

Most of the time you will come by a mentor organically. You’ll find people in your family, extracurriculars, or classes who you mesh well with and look to for guidance. Some high schools have entire programs where older students are matched up with younger students to give them help. If your HS doesn’t have that, think about whom you often go to for help. It might be a friend, it might be someone else.
Don’t be shy to ask for help. It’s not a sign of weakness or incompetence; it’s a sign of maturity and knowing what you want. You don’t have to be super formal about it, “will you be my mentor?”
You can be organic, and just say, “hey I need help with ____, can you give me some advice?”

A mentor will be there for you.

I was lucky enough to have two older sisters who I am close with who helped me find my way. Though I have a stubborn independent streak a mile wide, I was willing to ask for help when I really needed guidance, and it put me on the right path. In particular, they ripped my college essays apart so I could build them up again. They pointed me towards the summer program that was the make-or-break moment for theatre and me. They encouraged me to seek out my goals and stop caring about what others think.

In college I have an official mentor, my big. While we’re often very mutual on our advice giving, she’s really helped me grow academically and as a leader. It also helps that she’s ridiculously smart and is going to UPenn for her masters (so I will be hitting her up when it comes time for me to apply to grad school).

If you have an amazing mentor who can guide you, pay it forward. Take your younger friends under your wing. Find someone with potential and no guidance and be there for them.

Part of why I love college advising is that I love polishing the jewels in the rough. Everyone I’ve ever worked with has so much potential, is so uniquely amazing, can do so many great things. But sometimes people need a little guidance. They need a shove in the right direction, or a bit of tough love. They need someone to take a peek at how they’re presenting themselves and say, “This is great, but you’re so much more than what you’ve said. What about this?”

And the best part of being a mentor? Seeing your mentees flourish, spread their wings, achieve what is great.

One of my closest friends is someone who I totally took under my wing in high school, and she’s like a sister to me. She was also one of my first college advising lab-rats. Watching her apply to a school she never even thought about, get in, and have an amazing freshman year has been one of the best experiences of my life. She needed a bit of a push, a bit of guidance and help, and a lot of late night chats. But she’s done it, and she’s on her way.

If there’s someone who’s been there for you, thank them. A good mentor is hard to find, but one of the most important relationships you can foster.