Learning to Keep Calm

Learning to Keep Calm- The inevitable and awful, wait (and how to deal with it).

Perhaps the most nerve-wracking part of any application process is the wait time. You send off your hopes and dreams to be decided on behind closed doors, and all you can do in the meantime is wait. And wait. And wait some more.

Today someone asked how I was doing, and I replied, “I’m staying calm. I’m Zen”

I am waiting to hear back from a summer fellowship. I’m not sure when exactly I will hear back, but I’m fairly sure it will be some time this week.

My entire life, waiting has never been my forte. I’m a critical, nitpicky type. That makes me amazing at writing and editing applications, but absolutely terrible at actually applying to things. Because once I hit send, I start nitpicking.

I should have added this in. I should have worn a different shirt to the interview. I should have done more research. I should have read the website more thoroughly. I could have… I should have… I could have… I should have…. I’m never going to get it. I shouldn’t have even tried. It was silly for me to think I could do this. What am I going to do when I’m rejected? I have back ups. I could have done more. I messed up so badly. I could have, I should have, I could have, I should have. I didn’t.

Does that inner monologue sound familiar?

I thought so.

The worst part of waiting is knowing it’s out of your hands.

But that needs to be your strength.

It’s out of your hands. There’s nothing else you can do. Focus on other possibilities until you know for sure.

The dwelling. The nervousness. The anxiety. The awful “up in the air” feeling. You can’t let that bog you down.

Keep calm. Focus on other things.

Full disclosure: I had to visit 3 different doctors the week before I heard back from my college for various health problems due to the agonizing, self-imposed anxiety.

I’ve gotten better at waiting since then. Because I focus on what is directly in front of me, instead of what I have no control over.

High School Seniors, you are about to find out from regular decision. And that’s absolutely terrifying, am I right?

But you still have a few more weeks until you know for sure.

Focus on the other things.

Hang out with your friends and truly appreciate them, as this is likely the last time you’ll get to see them all together.

Participate in your extracurriculars for the joy of participating. Leave behind a legacy of greatness. If you’re an athlete, an artist, an actor, an activist, leave it all behind. Put your full hundred percent in. Be an inspiration to the underclassmen, the person they aspire to be.

Know that Prom is coming up. And that even for introverts (like me) prom is a really special, and fun, thing. You get to dress up in the fanciest dress you’ve ever owned and be together with everyone one last time. I didn’t love my high school (in fact, I was desperate to get out of there) but prom was one of my best high school memories.

Spend time with your family, another group of people whom you’re about to be separated from for a while. Relish the unconditional love (even if you don’t like them, you love them). Appreciate living with people who know, and anticipate, your habits.

Appreciate that this is going to be the last time where you’re not going to be responsible for feeding yourself. Appreciate that you’re eating real food that someone cooked (or microwave, or bought), instead of gross cafeteria food.

Exercise a bit. Even if you hate it. The freshman 15 is looming on the horizon, and to keep it off you’re going to need to hit the gym. Form those habits now.

Keep your grades up in your classes. Learn for the love of learning, rather than a good mark to put on an application. Appreciate teachers and classmates who know your name.

If you’re doing a senior project, focus on that. Make it the best it can be. Pick something you’re passionate about, and really go for it.

Staying calm is hard. Not panicking is hard. But it gets easier when there are other things to focus on.

Nothing was ever accomplished by dwelling on things outside of your control. But all of that pent up nervous energy can be used to achieve greatness.